Sign of the times...

Pretty much says it all...

The Wonders of WD-40...

I get some random stuff that I'm not sure how or when I signed up for it. This is from 52Best, a really nice site full of feel-good stories, much like the Chicken Soup for the Soul series of books...

Enjoy!


The Incredible nearly Edible WD -40
I had a neighbor who had bought a new pickup. I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck for some unknown reason. I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.

He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do. Probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open. Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD -40 and clean it off. It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck.

I'm impressed! WD -40 who knew? Water Displacement number 40. The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts.

WD -40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a "water displacement" compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD -40.

The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts. Ken East, one of the original founders, says there is nothing in WD -40 that would hurt you. In fact its basic ingredient is fish oil.

It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door whether it is plastic or glass. It's a miracle! Then try it on your stove top. Voila! It's now shinier than it's ever been. You'll be amazed.

Great with burns, bugs, scissors, zippers, fish, pigeons, arthritis and more

1) Protects silver from tarnishing.
2) Use it for bug bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
3) Keeps pigeons off the balcony. They hate the smell.
4) Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
5) Removes road tar and grime from cars.
6) Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7) Removes lipstick stains.
8) Loosens stubborn zippers.
9) Untangles jewelry chains.
10) Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11) Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12) Keeps ceramic and terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing .
13) Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14) Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15) Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16) Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17) Gives floors t hat 'just-waxed' sheen without making it slippery.
18) It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor!
19) Bug guts will eat the finish on your car if not removed quickly with WD -40!
20) Gives a children's play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21) Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for handling on riding mowers.
22) Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.
23) Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24) Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25) Restores padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26) Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27) Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28) Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles.
29) Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers keeping them running smoothly.
30) Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31) Removes splattered grease on stove.
32) Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33) Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34) Removes all traces of duct tape.
35) Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
36) Cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.
37) The State of New York uses WD -40 protects the Statue of Liberty.
38) WD -40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on bait or lures to catch the Big One.
39) WD -40 is great for removing crayon. Spray and wipe with a clean rag.
40) Load of laundry with lipstick in it? Saturate the spots with WD -40 and rewash.
41) Spray WD -40 on the distributor cap to displace the moisture. Car will start.
42) Spray in engine carburetor intake as a "starting fluid" for hard to start engine.
43) Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
44) Keeps flies off cows.
45) Good for oven burns. One spray and it takes the burned feeling away and heals with NO scarring.

Don't Pump Gas On May 15th 2007

Update: This is an urban myth. Please disregard... but I will leave it up for posterity... :D

This was sent to me by my sister. Not sure of it's authenticity or legitimacy, but I thought I would post it anyway. Comments?

NO GAS...On May 15th 2007
Don't pump gas on may 15th
Body: ...in April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted
nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped
30 cents a gallon overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas
station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over
$3.00 a gallon in most places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet
network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50
dollars to fill up.

If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take
$2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil
companys pockets for just one day, so please do not go to
the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the
Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day.

If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) resend this to
all your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump
gas on May 15th"

Interview with Bill Watterson | The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

I always enjoyed Calvin and Hobbes... Very funny and "on-point" about quite a few things in life, whether they were about a 6-year-old or adults. In this interview, Bill Watterson, is asked several questions by people around the world, including Lubbock, TX, while although technically, a part of the world, might as well be on a some alien planet... (I kid, I kid... I like Lubbock. Really.)

GL&HF!

Interview with Bill Watterson | The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

Different Kinds Of Marketing ...

This was forwarded to me, so I'm passing it along. Kinda funny...

I wonder how you could fit this analogy to MLM... :D

What is Marketing...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her & pointing at you says, "He's very
rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say,"Hi,I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie;
you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her,pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a
ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.

VoteForThe Worst: Mail Bag Update 4/7/07

If you're a fan of "American Idol" or you hate it, by now you've probably heard of Vote For The Worst... It's a site dedicated to getting everyone, or a lot of folks, to vote for what most would consider the "worst" singer in the competition. I watch the show; I don't really care who wins. Personally, like any reality show, it's the "train-wreck" effect that keeps me watching. However, if you really want to see some "train-wrecks", take a look at VFTW's mail bag... Oh, my... you will cringe and you will laugh. This is the mentality of the society we live in. It's almost sad, yet mystifying. Why? comes to mind, a lot.

Some of my favorites from this posting:

Jannie:

"this is not a joke-this is a talent show!!!!"

Exclamation points for effect... four of them, even!

Erica:

"Thanks to you, Simon said if Sanjaya wins he'll shut down the show. AND THAT'S BAD! But at the same time good because if American Idol is shut down you won't have a reason to have this site. YOUR RUINING AMERICAN IDOL FOR EVERY1!!"

More exclamation points... and the reasoning baffles me. It probably baffles the writer...

Cheryl:

CLOSE DOWN THIS WEBSITE!!! AMERICAN IDOL IS THE AMERICAN DREAM!!! JUST LEAVE IT BE!!! YOUR PROBALY JUST MAD BECAUSE YOU DIDNT MAKE IT ON AMERICAN IDOL!!! YOUR PATHETIC!!! GET A LIFE!!!

All caps is nice, and the classic "GET A LIFE" says it all. Very original.

Nicole:

"*If anyone who reads this, agrees with me, please email me: xxxx@xxx.com (no spam please)"

This is my favorite, because nothing says "Hey, I r an interweb n00b" more than leaving your email address on a site and basically asking for spam... (BTW, I removed the address for this post, to protect the ignorant... i mean innocent...)

I could go on, but you get the picture. Actually this site, is better than any reality series because the train-wrecks happen every time someone sends them hate mail. America, you gotta love it!


Mail Bag Update 4/7/07 | Vote for the Worst

We Want Pre-Nup; We Want Pre-Nup...

This is a good one. Enjoy!

PRE- NUPTUAL AGREEMENTS: SENIOR STYLE

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married.
She said: I want to keep my house.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.
She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: That's fine with me...Put me down for Fridays..

Recipe For A Good Marriage!

Very funny stuff here... Red was a classic!

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!" . So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!

Police: Man swiped 1,500 women's undies - CNN.com

Hey, like any other guy, I like women's underwear, too.... mainly I like them OFF, but then that's just how I roll... (kidding Bren, kidding...) However, when they're ON, I tend to like the thong and boyshort styles.

This guy was not so discerning; he liked them all to the tune of FIVE GARBAGE BAGS full. He says he has a problem; I'm thinking that's the biggest understatement of the year. Well at least he made it on CNN!

Police: Man swiped 1,500 women's undies - CNN.com

Ponderings...

This was forwarded to me. I thought it made some interesting points...

Ponderings...

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without

8 Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9 Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. Think about this: No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, there'll be thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos and nipple rings?

18. Do you also realize that in about 40 years, RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!?

19. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

20. After a certain age, if you don't wake up with an ache in at least a few joints, you are probably dead.

Monkey owner: Sex tape allegation false

All right, I think this is funny... You may not think so. You have to read this because it's so typical of what one person hears may not be, at all, what the other was doing. This part was particularly funny and probably the part that got "misinterpreted"

“I don’t have sex with my monkey. That’s absolute crap,” Mr. Crawford said. “Why would I do that? I gave him an audiotape, but it didn’t have anything like that on it. It said, “I’m coming home, I’m coming to get you. Daddy’s coming, he’s coming to get you,’” Mr. Crawford said.

Exactly! Why would you? I'm still laughing...

Monkey owner: Sex tape allegation false | Dallas Morning News | News for Dallas, Texas | Latest News

Now it's the Filipinos who want to make me rich...

Got one of the classic "419 scam" emails today, only it seems the Nigerians aren't the only ones who have a sizable sum deposited in a bank account somewhere and need MY help to get out. Somewhere in the process, they are supposed to cut me in for a tidy sum...

Now it's the Filipino's, not being content to dwell on the memory of Ferdinand Marcos, and the great shoe-lady and former wife of Ferdinand, Imelda Marcos, feel compelled to harass me into helping them. Like I have time for that.

GL & HF!

This is SOOOO funny...

Found this on John Dvorak's blog. He doesn't read mine, so I won't link back to him... jk, jk...

Most Unwanted Inventions?

Parade Magazine reports the most unwanted inventions. I tend to agree with most of these. But then, where would the world be without innovation?

1) High Heels
“They hurt my feet, legs and back, and they make me dread dressy occasions,” writes Cindy Lee of Metairie, La.

2) Jet Skis
“They are inventions that allow one person to enjoy a formerly quiet lake or beach while ruining the scene for swimmers, picnickers and sailors, not to mention wildlife,” says N.W. of Ann Arbor, Mich.

3) Leaf-Blowers
“Yet again, my calm was rudely interrupted by the whining, obnoxious leaf-blower across the street,” writes Annette Alabaster of Richmond, Va. “I wonder how many decibels those things put out.” Adds Meg Byrd of Clover, javascript:void(0)
PublishS.C.: “I hate, hate, hate leaf-blowers! Get a rake!”

4) Automated Telephone Assistance
“My biggest fear in life is that the person who invented this will invent something else,” writes Linda Palter of Muskegon, Mich. And Walter Huff of Rialto, Calif., says: “When you finally locate a choice that approximates what you need, you are told that ‘all representatives are busy, but your call is important to us, so please hold.’ Twenty minutes later, you’re still waiting with that important call!”

5) Television
“For the greatest promise betrayed,” explains Bob Altman of Mount Pleasant, S.C. “TV has desensitized the world to violence; reduced political discourse to sound bites; fostered short attention spans, sedentary lifestyles and crass materialism; and demeaned women and fathers.”

6) Video Games
“As a schoolteacher, I see how video games have shifted children from interaction to isolation with their controllers,” writes Lynn Hatch of Park City, Utah.

7) Bass Amplifiers
“These rolling boom boxes—cars with high-power bass amplifiers—rattle the pans hanging in my kitchen,” writes T.P. Wilson of Houston, Tex. “I can’t escape the pounding.”

8) Neckties
“When I get to Hades, I’m gonna find the guy who invented the necktie and strangle him with one of his own creations,” writes Nick Dunbar of Chicago.

9) Car Alarms
“What use are they, except to wake the neighbors?” writes Sean Huxter of Norwood, Mass. And Patti Maillett of Towson, Md., notes: “They don’t even serve their intended purpose. No one takes them seriously. Have you ever heard a car alarm sounding and thought, ‘Wow! Someone is trying to steal that car!’?”

10) Cell Phones
“On the plus side, they’ve made us instantly available anyplace, anytime,” notes Nina Cooper of Las Vegas. “On the minus side, they’ve made us instantly available anyplace, anytime.” Adds Bill James of Austin, Tex.: “They ruin our personal time. Both your boss and your client want you to be reachable. A quiet dinner with the family? A movie? Fuhgettaboutit!” Another reader, Jenn Frommer of Albany, N.Y., complains: “I am sick of hearing people’s loud, stupid conversations everywhere I go!”

There you have it, readers. Cell phones have become like impossible girlfriends and boyfriends: You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them!


Ask Marilyn | PARADE Magazine

Windy Saturday...

Woah... last Saturday we had the windstorm from hell here in North Texas. The winds were so strong that the sky was red from all the sand that was picked up in West Texas. There were power outages, trees uprooted and many roofs were damaged. We had the privilege of driving to my daughter's soccer match, in Plano, TX. just to have them cancel the game as we got there. True, it was much worse at 3:00 p.m., game time was 4:00 p.m., but by 5:00 p.m. the skies were clear. It was still windy, but not as bad. It was surreal.

Really reminded me of my youth... pt0ooie, excuse me as I spit sand out of my mouth... I remember having to ride my bike to basketball (yes, we played Little Dribbler's basketball... seriously) practice one Saturday morning. By the time we were done with practice, the wind had kicked up and the sand was everywhere. Now, remember we had just finished practice, so I was sorta sweaty... The bike ride home was almost directly south, except for a couple of turns, so by the time I got home, my whole RIGHT SIDE was caked in sand... Another time, my friend Larry had to go to Lubbock for some reason, and by the return trip, one of these sandstorms had kicked up and literally SANDBLASTED his car. Seriously, the whole right side of his car was flecked with small indentations in the finish that had been blasted away by the sand. He had to have the car re-painted.

I don't have any pictures from this past weekend... not sure why, as that was really dumb now that I think about it, but here's a picture my sister sent me from a storm rolling in near Brownfield, TX.













And here's one I DID take in Lubbock, TX last summer as a sandstorm preceded a thunderstorm as it rolled in from the west. This was the weekend of the Great Class of '81 Pre-Reunion... well that's what I call it, as we ended up having another reunion during the Homecoming football game later last fall. I missed that one...

This is one of my wife's favorite recent skits on Saturday Night Live... Enjoy!