5, no wait, 6 things to do or be aware of on your new team

Well, you've made the big switch and your child is on a new soccer team. Now what?

If you've been following my blog, you know I have been chronicling our decision to find a new home for my DD (darling daughter, in turfmonster.com speak) here, here, here, again here... And finally here... I started this series of somewhat related articles with this article on decisions to make about leaving a team and looking for a new team. And you know we now have a new home with Sting West 94. The search is over, but the journey is just beginning.

I would like to continue this series with list of things to do and look out for once your child and you are settled in to your new team and you can be ready for the "Now what?"

Keep in mind these should apply, for the most part, to both you and your child. So here goes:

1. Be prepared for anything.
   By this I mean, you and your child should be prepared for any and all requests that come your way. Whether the request is to do extra fitness work or volunteering, be prepared.
2. No cliques
   If your child is joining a team with other players from a previous team, make sure that he or she understands that there can be no "us and them" mentality. This is especially true with girls. Make sure that the friendships are spread amongst old and new players. It's also very incumbent on the old players to make the new players feel welcome. Whatever happens, in the end it's still a team and it will live and die by being a "TEAM".
3. Be flexible and open-minded
   Your child may be a stellar forward, but the needs of the team are at midfield. Be prepared to make that change in position because different coaches see different talents in players. Oftentimes the needs of the team will outweigh the needs of the individual. Also, keep in mind that a versatile player can be more valuable than a player that is "tied" to a position.
4. Be fit
   This should go without saying, but if your looking to qualify for the top league, in our case Lake Highlands Girls Classic League, the season starts very quickly. If your not committed by now to being in shape and ready to start a season, then it may be too late to help your team.
5. Be focused
   We all want lives and soccer should only be a part of it, but during training times, soccer should be the ONLY focus. There's a time and a place for everything else. Use the practice time wisely and efficiently. As parents, it is your duty to remind your child to stay focused and in tune with the coach and team during practices. Try to keep distractions to a minimum.
6. Finally, have fun!
   If you can't have some fun, then it's probably not worth doing. Parents have a tendency to take the fun out of things and soccer parents are no different. Ask your child if they are having fun. If the answer is no, maybe it's you. Don't be too proud. I see it everyday, you probably have, too. The overbearing parent can be a detriment to the child AND the team. Don't let it be you!

Well, I hope this was insightful and you find it helpful and useful. Please feel free to comment!

As usual, GL&HF!

And so it ends... finally... and the rain has NOT stopped!

My daughter finally came to a decision yesterday, and we have decided that Sting West 94G is the team of her choice. Wow, this has been an experience. Often disappointing, but inevitably rewarding as she made some new friends and is going to play with some new and old friends. So it's been a positive experience for her. Although, I felt that either club was a good choice, I was leaning more towards FT. Worth FC Red for various reasons. But it was her decision and I have tried to make things like that for her.

I want her to be responsible and accountable for the decisions she makes for herself. All I did was provide her with information and guidance. I truly believe that the problems we have with kids these days is that we don't let them make real decisions and we don't hold them accountable for those decisions they do make. We have made it too easy for them to fail and no consequences for failing. All too often I see parents blame the schools, the teachers, the coaches, the team, the whatever and never hold their own accountable for their actions. I have always tried to see it the other way around with my kids and I think it has worked... Not always to my liking, but at least the kids know that mommy and daddy won't clean up their messes!

Good luck to all you family's still seeking a team for your kids... things have a way of workiing out for the best!

(and don't forget to have fun!)

The search continues - End of Week 4

Well folks the end of open skills practices is upon us. The next phase of choosing a new team is the "actual" tryouts. I put that word, tryouts, in quotes because tryouts began a while ago, these are the "formal" tryouts, which is just a formality. If you don't have an offer from a team that is going to make, it's a mad scramble from this point forward. Fortunately, we have two firm offers and we are weighing the options carefully. We may still look at one more team in the morning...

Honestly, we were spoiled to work with Solar White first. First of all, the level of talent that team is attracting is phenomenal; secondly, the style of practice was hard, up-tempo and very beneficial, especially for my daughter. Unfortunately, no other team has been able to fully match each of those. Sting West 94 has size and talent, but our only practice experience with them was a little too laid back for my liking. Ft. Worth FC has a little less talent, but the practices are tough and a very good workout. There are other factors to consider such as club history, facilities, and future opportunities.

At least we have more concrete opportunities at this time in the process and that is a huge relief after things didn't pan out with our first two choices. I can understand Solar White but Texans West White is still a huge disappointment because of the way it was handled. It will leave a bad taste in my mouth for a while. But like anything, if the right opportunity comes along in the future I'm sure we can find a way to get past it. That's just life...

Here's the rundown for this week:

1. FWFC Red (still looking like a solid choice, FWU D3 core mostly intact; coach is inexperienced, but practices are tough)
   
2. Sting West (history with players, nice mix of size and talent; some former players are going to FWFC)
3. DFW Tornados Blue (former D2 FCD team; NO practices, that I am aware of, since return from Europe, will they even make a team?)
4. Odyssey Gold (history with the coach and a few players; new team with no LHGCL core)
5. Tejanos Premier (D2 core, been together a while; daughter not too interested, some snotty/snobby attitudes from previous experience)

Tomorrow is a big day; wish us luck!

The Search Continues... End of Week 3, Beginning of Week 4

Wish I could say all was bright and cheery in Royboy81 household, but it's not... However, it's not all bad, as I've said before every closed door opens a new one. The soccer family circle is big and sometimes that works to your benefit. As we were attending our final practice/scrimmage with Solar White, I ran into an old workmate back from my first job out of college. I knew her daughter played soccer, but I had not run into her since we played in different leagues and on different clubs. The wife had run into her at a couple of tournaments, but I hadn't. As it turns out, they were heading over to this club for another scrimmage. So we tagged along, knowing that our time with Solar was done.

Oh yeah... well, this was a couple of days after the mad caper that became of our time with the Dallas Texans West. That's a story that is not even as positive as NOT making Solar. We were looking at the #2 team in that division and they were very interested in the daughter... lo and behold, we show up for a practice and they have relegated her to the "new" third team. Now, mind you, we didn't make the Solar team, which I predict will be a force soon in Lake Highlands Classic League, but we didn't miss out by much. The injury really set her back and there were TOO many options for the coach for my daughter to overcome. Plain and simple, he could not go wrong with any of the choices, even if it wasn't my daughter. But this Texans #2 team is nowhere close to the Solar team and now they are telling us that a player they had pursued was now no longer good enough????? Come on, people. Thanks, but no thanks... Movin' on...

This new club looks like it might be a keeper as it's basis is a disbanded D3 Ft. Worth United team. Although the coach is inexperienced, the girls look good. There are some that we know so that's good. I think the coach is a bit inexperienced with respect to North Texas soccer and especially LHGCL, but he is definitely qualified from a pure soccer perspective. We will see how the practices go.

We have not ruled out a couple of other clubs. So here's the rundown:

1. FWFC Red (looking like the likely choice, FWU D3 core; coach is inexperienced, part-time goalie situation)
   
2. DFW Tornados Blue (former D2 FCD team; NO practices since return from Europe, will they make?)
3. Sting West (history with players; some former players are going to FWFC)
   
4. Odyssey Gold (history with the coach and a few players; new team with no LHGCL core)
5. Tejanos Premier (D2 core, been together a while; daughter not too interested, some snotty/snobby attitudes from previous experience)

Wow, still some decent choices. Not where we would have wanted to be at this time, but at least some doors are still open.

The search continues - Start of Week 3

The weather has not been kind to our quest to find a new team for our daughter. First the injury, then camp, and the weather has been a factor throughout. In case you didn't know, after months of drought, we are smack dab in the middle of North Texas monsoon season. Now normally, we expect rain from March to June, but this year has seen the rainiest season in a LOOOONG time. May alone only had NINE days without rain... practically unheard of... Yesterday's practice with the Texans was canceled because a facility could not be found. The practice is rescheduled for Wednesday.

We had a scrimmage with Solar on Saturday in which she did well and played a good bit at multiple positions. I think the issue with Solar is finding her a position; the coach's comments to her were that he was comfortable with his center-mids and was trying to find a place for her. He likes her ability to get to tackles and win most balls. He likes her aggressiveness and toughness. He wants her to play quicker and smarter, which was interesting because I've always considered her a "heady" player but I'm sure he has his reasons. The last few positions on the team are up for grabs and the competition is tough... really tough. Honestly, whatever his decision is, he cannot go wrong based on the talent I have seen out there the last few practices. Even if he doesn't pick my daughter for the team, I can't say it was a bad decision for him and his team. Bad for us, but every closed door opens another.

Also, the list of possible teams is dwindling because my daughter does NOT want to play with one of the teams. So here is the updated list:

1. Solar White (holding out hope; down to last 3-4 positions)
   
2. Dallas Texans West White (closing the gap, nice additions are making them more attractive; down to the last few spots; now, if they would just have a practice...)
   
3. Dallas Texans Black (mainly because they are a Texans team; totally new team)
   
4. DFW Tornados Blue (making their first appearance; may move higher; going BACK to a different Tornados team would be weird)
5. Odyssey 94 Gold (also making their first appearance, previous experience with coach; a new team)

The search continues - Week 2

My daughter just got back from church camp and she seems to be walking and running much better on her injured ankle. So I am hoping she can start making all the practices with the teams we are interested in joining. There are some very interesting developments with teams folding and new teams forming. Some of the developments are very surprising, but that's the nature of the beast, or so I am finding. This is the first time since our daughter started playing club soccer, that we are having to do the whole recruitment process to find her a team. The first time around, we were complete newbs and we just kind of "fell" into the opportunity. I honestly had no reason to believe that my daughter would even make a team, much less get calls from coaches asking her to come out. So it was a pleasant and no-stress experience - then. Now - not so much... This age group is VERY talented and there seems to be no end to the number of girls still playing club soccer. Usually, the numbers start to dwindle as other interests begin to demand time from the girls. It does seem liker there are fewer teams and the same amount of girls - or close too - vying for those few positions.

I do feel badly for her old team, as it seems that many more have left the team. We certainly never wanted to feel like we abandoned them, but we had to do what was best for our daughter. I think they are down to five players give or take two or three. I really hope things work out for them.

Unfortunately, there never seems to be end to the rumors and innuendo. A couple of girls on the team are telling my daughter that when they left and informed the coach, that he was very rude to them and told them that the reason we left was because of them. That is so far from the truth... We never blamed any of the players for our exit and we would have NEVER blamed them, in particular. My daughter "loved" them, in her words and really clicked with them on the pitch. I understand egos and hurt and resentment, and I still respect her old coach for his knowledge and for what he did for our daughter, but for him to say that to them was really not cool - at all. I made sure to keep our decision above board and to not place blame, and we would have never blamed the two girls, NEVER. In the end, it was a feeling that our goals did not match the direction of the team, and that was it. A difference in perspective and objectives. Oh well... My daughter has let the girls know that in no way, shape, form or fashion were they the reason we left. I need to speak to their parents... I don't know if I will speak to the coach; he probably doesn't want to speak to me...

So, these are the teams we are still looking at (with links, if available):

1. Solar White (still on top; down to last 5 spots and it will be very competitive)
   
2. Dallas Texans West White (closing the gap, nice additions are making them more attractive; down to the last few spots)
   
3. Dallas Texans Black (mainly because they are a Texans team; totally new team)
   
4. DFW Tornados Blue (making their first appearance; may move higher; going BACK to a Tornados team would be weird)
5. Odyssey 94 Gold (also making their first appearance previous experience with coach; a new team)
6. DFW Tejanos Premier (relegated down on our list due to no real history or contact, although a contender because they were a LHGCL team)
   

Well, I think that's enough of an update for this week; more to follow in the quest for the new team...

Trashing Teens; The Case Against Adolescence

A couple of interesting articles about how we, as a society, have artificially extended the length of adolescence. I find this highly interesting and see some good, salient points in the article. With three kids, all teens from early to mid to late, I can agree with a lot that is in the article from experience. Go read and make your own conclusions.

Psychology Today: Trashing Teens

Along that same vein is an article I ran across on things one needs to learn, but that are not being taught in schools. Most of these, we have tried to instill in our kids. I would say we have been most successful with the youngest, probably because WE were still learning some of these, on our own, into our adulthood! Ehhh, our parents did their best... just as we do our best.

27 Skills Your Child Needs to Know That She’s Not Getting In School

One last thing, for now...

I am now officially 2-0-1 as "caretaker" coach for my daughter's soccer team. Yay, me!

I've been planning to retire with a winning record, but due to scheduling conflicts, Victor keeps putting me in this position... to succeed, of course... (Lord help me, if I lose one...)

Thank you, Victor...

How-to advice sites

I thought I would post a list of sites I visit that provide very good and very easy to follow how-tos. These sites have a lot of information and are usually a lot of fun.

First up is the venerable Lifehacker, run by Gina Trapani. She and her staff have a lot of great stuff EVERY day, even weekends.

Another site is Hack a Day, which offers a lot of interesting "hacks" of every-day and not-so every-day items. It might be a bit too geeky for most, but is fun to visit just to see the craziness, if you will.

Instructables is a step-by-step guide to doing many things, like building and NES PC or creating a 3D effect with image editing software.

wikiHow offers featured articles on everything from How to Dress in a Sari to Do(ing) the Samoan Fa'ataupati (Slap Dance).

Make Magazine and Tricks of the Trade, which, unfortunately, is on a hiatus until who knows when, are two more resources for you quest to do something constructive. Make Magazine also has an annual Maker Faire that looks like a lot of fun!

Hope you have fun doing some projects from these great sites!

And as usual, GL&HF!

Who is the Servant-Leader?

The servant as leader is powerful concept that many organizations are embracing. The CIO at my company is a proponent of this methodology and I have been doing some research into the concepts and practices of this approach to leadership.

Who is the Servant-Leader?
The servant-leader is servant first. It begins
with the natural feeling that one wants to
serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings
one to aspire to lead. The difference manifests
itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make
sure that other people’s highest priority needs
are being served. The best test, and difficult to
administer, is: Do those served grow as persons;
do they, while being served, become healthier,
wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely them-
selves to become servants? And, what is the effect
on the least privileged in society; will they benefit,
or at least, not be further deprived?”
— from The Servant as Leader
by Robert K. Greenleaf

Also, just saw this announcement:

Mark your calendars

• June 28, 2007, The 12th Leadership Institute For Education (LIFE) in Dallas, Texas
• June 28 - 30, 2007, Servant-Leadership in a Flat World, the 17th international conference of the Greenleaf Center , at the Adam's Mark Hotel in downtown Dallas. Download the brochure now. Confirmed featured speakers:
  Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
  Colleen Barrett, President of Southwest Airlines and named one of the world's 100 Most Powerful Women: by Forbes.com
  Juana Bordas, founder of the National Hispana Leadership Institute, author, and principal of Mestiza Leadership International

The Servant Leader: More than a paradox or trendy corporate mandate...and not kinky | BlogHer

Thought I would mention this article, since Ms. Des Jardins was kind enough to link to this recent post. Jory, if I may, is a media consultant and one of the co-founders of BlogHer. I feel quite privileged and honored!

The Servant Leader: More than a paradox or trendy corporate mandate...and not kinky | BlogHer

I made the Carnival of Success #13

I submitted an article to the Carnival of Success. Go and check out the other fine articles available there. I am sure the authors will appreciate your visits and comments.
SuccessJolt » Blog Archive » Carnival of Success #13

Right off the bat, this article really caught my eye: Mid-Life Crisis: It’s Not Just for Men Anymore!

Hey, folks!

I know I'm all over the place with my postings, but that's kind of the story of my life... I've always been "jack-of-all, master-of-none" and it's served me well. But it can also be detrimental because it comes across as unfocused or uncommitted. What are your thoughts, especially as it relates to this blog? Any ideas, thoughts or critiques you may have are certainly welcome.

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

Food for thought? We may need to re-evaluate our positions on life and making a living...

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job